Conversion

…
What is conversion? Not at all
For me the experience of St. Paul
No blinding light of faith I know
Which sometimes goes completely out
And leaves me plunging round in doubt
Until I will myself to go
And worship in God’s house below-
My parish Church- and even there
I find distractions everywhere.

What is conversion? Turning round
To gaze upon a love profound.
For some of us see Jesus plain
And never once look back again,
And some of us have seen and known
And turned and gone away alone,
But most of us turn slow to see
The figure hanging on a tree
And stumble on and blindly grope
Upheld by intermittent hope.
God grant before we die we all
May see the light as did St. Paul.

John Betjeman, The Conversion of St. Paul (lines 62- 83)